The Standing Weekly Call: A Health Habit Hiding in Plain Sight

For most of the last century, health advice was about the body: what to eat, how much to move, whether to smoke. In the last decade, public health agencies have begun to talk about something that used to be left to novelists and grandmothers. Whether you have people, and whether you see them.

In 2023 the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, through the Office of the Surgeon General, issued an advisory on social connection, describing loneliness and isolation as public health concerns and linking them to a range of physical and mental health outcomes. The National Institute on Aging has long carried similar guidance for older adults. The message is not that friendship is nice. It is that connection appears to matter for health in ways that researchers are still measuring.

What the research suggests

Social isolation refers to having few relationships or little contact with others. Loneliness is the feeling of being disconnected, which can occur even among people with plenty of company. Both become more common with age, as careers end, children move away, partners and friends are lost, and health or mobility makes it harder to get out.

According to the NIA, research has associated social isolation and loneliness in older adults with higher risks for a number of conditions, including high blood pressure, heart disease, depression, and cognitive decline. The Surgeon General's advisory summarizes similar findings across the adult population. As with most research in this area, these are associations rather than proof of cause, and the mechanisms are still being studied. Some of the effect may run through behavior: people with regular contact tend to sleep better, move more, and notice health problems sooner. Some may be more direct, involving stress and its effects on the body.

The practical conclusion is the same either way. Regular, reliable contact with other people is now regarded by public health agencies as part of a healthy life, not a pleasant addition to it.

Why a standing call works

Advice on connection tends to be vague: stay in touch, reach out, make an effort. Vague advice does not become a habit. What becomes a habit is a specific action at a specific time.

A standing weekly call has a few properties that make it unusually durable. It is scheduled, so it does not depend on either person remembering to reach out. It is reciprocal, so both people carry it. It is low-effort, requiring no travel, no cooking, and no cleaning up. And it accumulates: fifty-two conversations a year with the same person builds a kind of closeness that occasional catch-ups rarely do.

The phone also removes an excuse that many older adults use with themselves, which is that they do not want to impose. A standing call is not an imposition. It is an appointment both people agreed to.

How to start small

Choose one person. A sibling, an old friend, an adult child, a former colleague. Someone you like talking to and who would likely welcome the idea. It does not need to be the person you feel you ought to call. It needs to be someone the call will be a pleasure with.

Propose it plainly. "I'd like to talk more often. Would Sunday at four work as a regular time?" Most people are more pleased by this than they let on. If the answer is no, ask someone else.

Keep the first calls short. Twenty minutes is plenty. Long calls make the habit feel like a commitment; short ones make it feel like a pleasure.

Do not wait for news. The most common reason people stop calling is that nothing has happened. The call is not for news. It is for the calling.

How to keep it

• Put it in the calendar for both of you. A recurring entry, with a reminder. Give it the same standing as any other appointment.
• Keep the time even when one of you is busy. A five-minute call at the usual time keeps the habit alive. Rescheduling repeatedly is how standing arrangements quietly end.
• Take the call somewhere pleasant. A walk, a chair by a window, the garden. The call can become an anchor for other good habits, including movement.
• Let it be ordinary. What you ate, what you are reading, what the weather is doing. Ordinary conversation is what long relationships are mostly made of.
• Add a second person only when the first is solid. Some people end up with two or three standing calls a week. Build them one at a time.

Common questions

Does a video call count? Yes, if both people are comfortable with it. For many older adults a plain phone call is easier and less tiring. The medium matters less than the regularity.

What if I have nobody to call? This is more common than people admit, and it is a reason to build connection in other ways first: a class, a volunteer role, a faith community, a walking group, or a regular visit to the same café. The NIA lists these among practical steps for staying connected. The standing call can come later, once there is someone on the other end.

Is texting enough? Messages keep a thread alive but rarely provide the sense of company that voices do. If texting is what you have, it is better than nothing. A call once a week adds something messages cannot.

What if the other person keeps canceling? Give it a few weeks, then ask plainly whether the time still works. If it does not, change the time. If the interest is not there, choose someone else without hard feelings. A standing call only works when both people want it.